College Essay Reflection
College Essay Process Paper
My revision process was long and had some hard moments. From draft one to draft two was my largest revision. First I gave the essay a title. The title went well, especially when the reader gets to the end. Then I shortened my essay up, substantially. My first draft was written exactly like a formal essay should be written. This draft sucked. The second draft I made it into a story-like essay and it souned much better when read and it made me want to read it. First draft beginning sentence is “My goals for the future are limited.” This is a boring sentence and makes me want to go to sleep. Draft two beginning sentence is “there is a man sitting in a throne-like chair.” This makes the reader have questions and it catches the read and makes them want to read more. I am proud of my revision from draft one to draft two. My revision from draft two to draft three is the weakest change. I added more detail and took out tons of boring stuff that I failed to see in draft two before I wrote it. Second paragraph begins “it is the last day of college,” in the draft two stage of the essay. This is an okay sentence but it could use some spark to it. So, I changed it to “blah, blah, blah.” This is the most childish sentence in my whole essay, but it works and this is how I think anyone feels on the last day of school. In my draft two to draft three I clarified about my professions, added better openings to the paragraphs, and clarified about my hatred toward the government. From my draft three to final draft I worked on my syntax (as much as possible, not really) and my diction. I took out all the unnecessary words and either changed the whole sentence or found a new word. I added a parallelism to my writing. Draft three had “He has gotten two other professions, one to become a chef, he always wanted to help the hungry, and the other to deal with law enforcement, to protect the people from dangers of the world.” This is a decent sentence, but it could use some work, so I changed it to “He has gotten three other professions, one to become a chef, (he wanted to help the hungry), one in law enforcement, (to protect the people from dangers of the world), and one in Special Forces (to keep peace and fight for justice). Not only did I make is a parallel structure but I made it have better syntax. I noticed I had three long sentences in a row in my second paragraph. I changed the last sentence from “One could say he was a Renaissance Man, but he masters all that he does” to “He was a Renaissance Man, except that he mastered all.” I think this makes the essay flow better and I did notice that I took a break from long sentences. It made it a better piece. I used clearly more times than necessary, so I took all them out (I hate that word anyway, it is just something I picked up from the South). I did add transition between my paragraphs. I used the transition to go with my ocean eye theme.
Stating the strengths and weaknesses of my own writing is going to be a little biased. I tend to think that my writing is perfect and that it has no flaws. I will try to get everything. One thing is that my syntax is horrible. I have never really got the grasp of syntax (at least the writing it part). My sentences and the way they flow suck. I have short sentences followed by short sentences and long sentences followed by long sentences. I don’t have that much sentence variety either. I think I get this from the South because is usually just write how I talk and I don’t talk to great either. My diction is probably not that great, but it has improved since the start of this essay process. This I get from the South and I hate it because I can’t really change it. I hope to improve more. One strength is my details. I got that from the South, too, and because I am good at making up stuff so I tend to add a lot of details to things. Transition is another one of my strengths. It sucked in the beginning. I have worked really hard and I think that it works well in the final essay.
One thing that I learned by completing the essay assignment was diction. My diction sucked, but the workshops and hearing others using it helped me. Those practice essays where we had to pick out diction and describe it helped me, also. Syntax has improved, just not enough where I feel comfortable enough to write it and put it in my own writing. I can read it and pick it out, but I don’t really like to write it. Hopefully, I will get the grasp of it by time the AP test comes. My transition has improved with the workshops. I’ve heard others use awesome transitions and I feel bad that I can’t write as good as them, and I become stronger and learn it. Through the indirect help of other I have grown with my writing. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to do this without an awesome teacher that care more about actually teaching than just doing her job.
Throughout the writing and revision of my essay I have grown. I feel braver with my abilities of writing. I actually am not scared to write and let other read it. I feel that my abilities have increased and want to show them to others. I feel more comfortable writing also. I don’t have the pressure of perfection on me. When I write now, it flows out and I don’t need to focus as much on making it perfect. I truly feel that my final essay had been my best writing ever.
Thank You Ms. Self
My revision process was long and had some hard moments. From draft one to draft two was my largest revision. First I gave the essay a title. The title went well, especially when the reader gets to the end. Then I shortened my essay up, substantially. My first draft was written exactly like a formal essay should be written. This draft sucked. The second draft I made it into a story-like essay and it souned much better when read and it made me want to read it. First draft beginning sentence is “My goals for the future are limited.” This is a boring sentence and makes me want to go to sleep. Draft two beginning sentence is “there is a man sitting in a throne-like chair.” This makes the reader have questions and it catches the read and makes them want to read more. I am proud of my revision from draft one to draft two. My revision from draft two to draft three is the weakest change. I added more detail and took out tons of boring stuff that I failed to see in draft two before I wrote it. Second paragraph begins “it is the last day of college,” in the draft two stage of the essay. This is an okay sentence but it could use some spark to it. So, I changed it to “blah, blah, blah.” This is the most childish sentence in my whole essay, but it works and this is how I think anyone feels on the last day of school. In my draft two to draft three I clarified about my professions, added better openings to the paragraphs, and clarified about my hatred toward the government. From my draft three to final draft I worked on my syntax (as much as possible, not really) and my diction. I took out all the unnecessary words and either changed the whole sentence or found a new word. I added a parallelism to my writing. Draft three had “He has gotten two other professions, one to become a chef, he always wanted to help the hungry, and the other to deal with law enforcement, to protect the people from dangers of the world.” This is a decent sentence, but it could use some work, so I changed it to “He has gotten three other professions, one to become a chef, (he wanted to help the hungry), one in law enforcement, (to protect the people from dangers of the world), and one in Special Forces (to keep peace and fight for justice). Not only did I make is a parallel structure but I made it have better syntax. I noticed I had three long sentences in a row in my second paragraph. I changed the last sentence from “One could say he was a Renaissance Man, but he masters all that he does” to “He was a Renaissance Man, except that he mastered all.” I think this makes the essay flow better and I did notice that I took a break from long sentences. It made it a better piece. I used clearly more times than necessary, so I took all them out (I hate that word anyway, it is just something I picked up from the South). I did add transition between my paragraphs. I used the transition to go with my ocean eye theme.
Stating the strengths and weaknesses of my own writing is going to be a little biased. I tend to think that my writing is perfect and that it has no flaws. I will try to get everything. One thing is that my syntax is horrible. I have never really got the grasp of syntax (at least the writing it part). My sentences and the way they flow suck. I have short sentences followed by short sentences and long sentences followed by long sentences. I don’t have that much sentence variety either. I think I get this from the South because is usually just write how I talk and I don’t talk to great either. My diction is probably not that great, but it has improved since the start of this essay process. This I get from the South and I hate it because I can’t really change it. I hope to improve more. One strength is my details. I got that from the South, too, and because I am good at making up stuff so I tend to add a lot of details to things. Transition is another one of my strengths. It sucked in the beginning. I have worked really hard and I think that it works well in the final essay.
One thing that I learned by completing the essay assignment was diction. My diction sucked, but the workshops and hearing others using it helped me. Those practice essays where we had to pick out diction and describe it helped me, also. Syntax has improved, just not enough where I feel comfortable enough to write it and put it in my own writing. I can read it and pick it out, but I don’t really like to write it. Hopefully, I will get the grasp of it by time the AP test comes. My transition has improved with the workshops. I’ve heard others use awesome transitions and I feel bad that I can’t write as good as them, and I become stronger and learn it. Through the indirect help of other I have grown with my writing. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to do this without an awesome teacher that care more about actually teaching than just doing her job.
Throughout the writing and revision of my essay I have grown. I feel braver with my abilities of writing. I actually am not scared to write and let other read it. I feel that my abilities have increased and want to show them to others. I feel more comfortable writing also. I don’t have the pressure of perfection on me. When I write now, it flows out and I don’t need to focus as much on making it perfect. I truly feel that my final essay had been my best writing ever.
Thank You Ms. Self